tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74136155594070697362024-03-13T00:00:10.222-04:00Janet Dane's BlogJanet Dane's BlogUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger216125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-21445757061029125462024-02-05T12:36:00.001-05:002024-02-05T12:36:06.228-05:00Groundlessness<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgE8GHDksuXQ9d5n-8bmk7dCEGGD5cK79VU4nUVqwUE56CXquevq4s-ZBI0RWexcnrXDP5vbsF0zOZ0rBaCIOktjzBFFGhdTl2Oo39FI92cPaX9RjZDhSO09Y2XxZnpAFU_ZTOqfmOEtrBas6tfZpZXhlD3rYApzR4ojuc7xhjt7Z6pG7dvhSe0iXWcBRc"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgE8GHDksuXQ9d5n-8bmk7dCEGGD5cK79VU4nUVqwUE56CXquevq4s-ZBI0RWexcnrXDP5vbsF0zOZ0rBaCIOktjzBFFGhdTl2Oo39FI92cPaX9RjZDhSO09Y2XxZnpAFU_ZTOqfmOEtrBas6tfZpZXhlD3rYApzR4ojuc7xhjt7Z6pG7dvhSe0iXWcBRc=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7332173034420278082" /></a><div><br> <div>When that phone call comes out of the blue, life can change in an instant. The ground shifts between our feet. With our usual landmarks gone, and no direction, there's little we can do.</div><div><br></div><div>But there can be a few things:</div><div><br></div><div>We can look for something constant. </div><div><ul class="MailOutline"><li>Like our breath. It's always right here. </li><li>Or the temperature of the air. </li><li>Or the gentle pressure of gravity. </li></ul></div><div><br></div><div>We can do something simple to do that's in our control. </div><div><ul class="MailOutline"><li>Make a cup of tea. </li><li>Listen to the birds. </li><li>Work with our hands. </li></ul></div><div><br></div><div>That can give us enough time to catch our breath, to get a sense of our place in the world while things settle down. We may not find our footing right away, but the storm will pass. </div><div><br></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-25569648210615040282024-02-04T10:43:00.001-05:002024-02-04T10:43:23.207-05:00Competition<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg50FmsZkx-ZrXVRfkk22Uqw_q7BuPToPoUBZXJTCnZvybrPfo9TAreWfwU8nZwXTZ_G-dO5z9eW6BRqHU-djZMVSldoK_Fpqn3tlcv-iQCoop7H77t-RmgdWyowWtuhgFHRpat_MXs8i1PrCrQkhCCVImVodwrtZBq0CEM1uxIPUuFtml-Tg89jNT8bsw"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg50FmsZkx-ZrXVRfkk22Uqw_q7BuPToPoUBZXJTCnZvybrPfo9TAreWfwU8nZwXTZ_G-dO5z9eW6BRqHU-djZMVSldoK_Fpqn3tlcv-iQCoop7H77t-RmgdWyowWtuhgFHRpat_MXs8i1PrCrQkhCCVImVodwrtZBq0CEM1uxIPUuFtml-Tg89jNT8bsw=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7331772898327375058" /></a></p>Judy and I both love music. When we started music class in high school, we needed to choose what instrument to play. Since neither of us knew what to pick, we both tried flute.
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<br>Judy was a natural. I was not. She had an edge we both recognized. Her mouth structure was made for flute. Mine, we discovered, was suited to Baritone Horn and Tuba.
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<br>But our music teacher, for some reason, pitted us against each other - I guess thinking we'd both respond to the challenge and improve? The more Mr. H. pushed, the more it pissed us off. We both loved a challenge, but this wasn't right. We were there for learning and playing and loving music.
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<br>When a competition takes place on a level playing field, it can be glorious. When it's unfair, nobody wins.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-83386335888260113652024-02-04T08:24:00.001-05:002024-02-04T08:28:02.615-05:00Insight<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiRpOMzkO00KPLeuGVPQmuryH3DoQRWjz8Wl-YLmZpdH46aA0m9-vYsFRWKRbiaQjgYs2aP-voVbCeE-UTRqFYOmZrGdjY3ssQgc5HkK72xAq2U-cTCyGMiFuITrK-BOWGKqnDKE4YIXmzLU6AhtbpT5VH3t6GNxWy4DV3QnUbgQ_oITXDCeoM6alS_2Xw"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7331737136676620898" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiRpOMzkO00KPLeuGVPQmuryH3DoQRWjz8Wl-YLmZpdH46aA0m9-vYsFRWKRbiaQjgYs2aP-voVbCeE-UTRqFYOmZrGdjY3ssQgc5HkK72xAq2U-cTCyGMiFuITrK-BOWGKqnDKE4YIXmzLU6AhtbpT5VH3t6GNxWy4DV3QnUbgQ_oITXDCeoM6alS_2Xw=s320" /></a></p>I let myself be carried by the service in church. Usually I am attentive and focused; this day I simply relaxed and trusted in the good energy of the place and people. As I sat there enjoying the ambience, insight popped up, unasked for.
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<br />That's the way insight comes.
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<br />No amount of plotting or planning or analysis or willpower or hard work will bring insight. We can't sit down and say "Okay. Here I am. I'm ready," and expect insight to arrive in due order.
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<br />Insight is a gift that can not be captured at will. Nor can anyone can give this to us. It's not a borrowed truth. No matter how wise, no teacher can do this for us. When we experience that moment of illumination, it is ours alone.
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<br />We can make room for realization to land, though. Insight finds us when we allow our mind to relax: taking a bath, meditating, walking in the woods, any time we are in our own natural flow. It doesn't require any special tools. We just have to show up and relax.
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<br />The experience goes beyond intellectual understanding. Insight is not just another idea or concept, it burrows into our being, shifting and changing our mindscape. Suddenly the world opens up in a new way. We are new. It sticks, too. Its effects linger in our inner being long after the moment has passed.
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<br />When I'm easy with myself and with life, insight has room to arrive. It's as though it's been sitting nearby, waiting for me to settle down long enough to notice it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-45063922331032738462024-02-03T08:11:00.001-05:002024-02-03T08:11:42.766-05:00Drop By Drop<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body style="overflow-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; line-break: after-white-space;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiGv5wMUqXa9_GJQTtgsL0tHuBh-VeaQISR-RuNUn8D1_zlq_i2SSKG_0Lgy5A717Oykll3OraABSx3X0F4fWJGXlHg9OV8kMD-6pJSZ4VFfUo18nXw4JWKQQHzO0aiPD5qdRjBpdR5Lj3mR-gnGPgtGB9oDSP1pF32kXqwJxoAQzfXVM808MhGczTCQjQ"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiGv5wMUqXa9_GJQTtgsL0tHuBh-VeaQISR-RuNUn8D1_zlq_i2SSKG_0Lgy5A717Oykll3OraABSx3X0F4fWJGXlHg9OV8kMD-6pJSZ4VFfUo18nXw4JWKQQHzO0aiPD5qdRjBpdR5Lj3mR-gnGPgtGB9oDSP1pF32kXqwJxoAQzfXVM808MhGczTCQjQ=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7331362730949800546" /></a><div><br></div><div><div>One day, in a very timely manner, the following message came across my desk:</div><div><br></div></div><blockquote style="margin: 0 0 0 40px; border: none; padding: 0px;"><div><div>Think not lightly of good, saying, "It will not come to me." </div></div><div><div>Drop by drop is the water pot filled. </div></div><div><div>Likewise, the wise man, gathering it little by little, </div></div><div><div>fills himself with good. </div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="margin: 0 0 0 40px; border: none; padding: 0px;"><div><div>– Dhammapada 122 –</div></div></blockquote><div><div><br></div><div>It's a promise. It's also a message of hope and faith and optimism and patience.</div><div><br></div><div>It promises that things can get better even if we don't notice them at the time. And it suggests that we don't have to leap tall buildings to have it happen.</div><div><br></div><div>Little things, day after day, add up.</div><div><br></div><div>Twenty-five years after planting a sapling, we may look out our window and be surprised to discover the sapling has become a full-grown maple tree. Over the years, little by little, it has taken what it needed to thrive. The changes happened gradually, but that sapling continued to grow steadily. In the same way, we can gather good, "little by little".</div><div><br></div><div>Little things done often really add up. For example: </div><div><ul class="MailOutline"><li>Catching a grumpy thought and changing it to a grateful one.</li><li>Spending a bit more time with people who are kind, and bit less with those who are not.</li><li>Saying grace at mealtime and really feeling thankful. </li><li>Listening to the birds. </li></ul></div><div><br></div><div>Each little change brings about its own reward. These little changes are like simple pleasures they can be satisfying in and of themselves. Yet they add up, too. Drop by drop our lives change until one day, we look up and see that life is good.</div><div><br></div> <br></div></body></html>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-28877318623968183232024-01-31T10:30:00.001-05:002024-01-31T10:34:37.259-05:00Seeing Things<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiYhNJGCcG0l652I6klxGWyWoUntOEkZ5gCtp4L7h5Um0f_3Nm3iFXKbpMWWcENdwF09X3_p8-CIofHj4PQ9g1L2_ESqkclUusTOhpC1hs7fF4Pk2F6AgvXHWw8Ovg2BBbtaQiUzm2x-dQB1fo0FdJl_yEGExwCIqfx6zATyl9pXqdty-7aiVU1sqCWo-8"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7330285136864535682" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiYhNJGCcG0l652I6klxGWyWoUntOEkZ5gCtp4L7h5Um0f_3Nm3iFXKbpMWWcENdwF09X3_p8-CIofHj4PQ9g1L2_ESqkclUusTOhpC1hs7fF4Pk2F6AgvXHWw8Ovg2BBbtaQiUzm2x-dQB1fo0FdJl_yEGExwCIqfx6zATyl9pXqdty-7aiVU1sqCWo-8=s320" /></a></p>When we were first born, we had to learn how organize all the things we perceived into some sort of framework. A baby's eyes can roll around every which way until she figures out that they have to point over there to see that thing over there.
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<br />Once she figures out how to focus, watch what she looks at. It might not be you, but something she perceives in the air right behind your right shoulder. With parents to help, she will discover the difference between a red apple and a yellow banana. She'll learn what's important and learn to discard the information that doesn't fit into the current worldview.
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<br />Sometimes when I watch the grass, I see a pattern of concentric circles in it, large ones. I am usually soft-focused and calm at the time and not thinking about much of anything. And then there it is. It's just something that has come into view when I arrive at that relaxed mental state. And then after a bit when I start thinking of other things, it quietly dissolves and the grass becomes normal again.
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<br />In the baby's relaxed mental state something surely came into her view.<br />
<br />Perception is weird. I wonder how much we miss?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-80260452806462707662024-01-30T11:20:00.001-05:002024-01-30T11:20:32.836-05:00The Gray Pebble Story<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhvczTY9FdnUMugwwfSf_cxqoJMiPVomUlk_n_11O4p1ocvGWuhyecWEC9zFvCkFp4oNEBDlWmoFz04yAATxZywIlKZVYaRmhKduuSE1ONoBk3mMH7zUfi3lEIi-veCyLDUvrjF3SMuFmNgpnqzTlTQuisTt3IZdPDiP10ZafQXE7rrl7GbtkTyyxS3mpQ"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhvczTY9FdnUMugwwfSf_cxqoJMiPVomUlk_n_11O4p1ocvGWuhyecWEC9zFvCkFp4oNEBDlWmoFz04yAATxZywIlKZVYaRmhKduuSE1ONoBk3mMH7zUfi3lEIi-veCyLDUvrjF3SMuFmNgpnqzTlTQuisTt3IZdPDiP10ZafQXE7rrl7GbtkTyyxS3mpQ=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7329927053381322306" /></a></p>I have a stone. A small grey pebble. It's smooth and tiny and I love the feel of its smooth surface in my hand.
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<br>I found this pebble at Wasaga Beach on a fine day. The sun was shining with the heat and energy of high summer. The fresh water from this huge lake rolled in, in waves that splashed in high refreshing particles. The energy was high, bright and cheerful that day as the pebble called to me and asked me to bring it home. When I picked up the pebble, I closed my eyes and relished the feeling of high, refreshing energy. Then I put the pebble in my pocket and brought it home.
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<br>Any time I want, I can hold that small grey pebble and feel my energy levels resonating with the high energy of the sun and water and wind that day at the beach. Each time I use the pebble and connect, I touch that rejuvenating energy.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-4672225697894950512024-01-30T10:22:00.001-05:002024-01-30T10:22:20.292-05:00A Sense of Play<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEif4-fpZUJzm_JxCmhfUcTnbz5IqQsW27LVxy8S5WJOILckQRdT33fbzqNAMEtwQvn2F33g9AXiYFJS6Co2ebEGcKr9EkCJEEebqqx39xm9MzqyUj0M4P90nra7ujFFvoYJNqz_h9IMfhStHapFMDmp7wHyi65Odhpg-aQgxPaUqDJObd1lseYjSluFta0"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEif4-fpZUJzm_JxCmhfUcTnbz5IqQsW27LVxy8S5WJOILckQRdT33fbzqNAMEtwQvn2F33g9AXiYFJS6Co2ebEGcKr9EkCJEEebqqx39xm9MzqyUj0M4P90nra7ujFFvoYJNqz_h9IMfhStHapFMDmp7wHyi65Odhpg-aQgxPaUqDJObd1lseYjSluFta0=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7329912048852440818" /></a></p>Adulting is hard. It's easy to lose our delight in the absurd, our love of silliness, our sense of play.
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<br>Where does our sense of fun go when we grow up? When we were kids, we explored. We wondered what adventures would happen that day. We believed in ourselves. We charged into life with our heart and soul. We built, created, learned.
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<br>How did we forget that life works better with a sense of fun? Work moves more smoothly. It becomes easier to laugh when things go wrong.
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<br>Let's see if we can find some of that in us. The kids have it right. Life is to be enjoyed.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-59675484962852551672024-01-30T09:59:00.001-05:002024-01-30T09:59:07.889-05:00The Man in the Woods<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhlV9_nt92AShakOxMOAcyeMq3CO7Jr66dSACDMvt5WSGo-QgBalyEv8-c518Apew0_Xbs2pzi_rRhNcEpAvoJkJ-zdgi4n381h1B3AzhiOecO5WOz7kKGGiddRDMD1JjvD7snccCP5UnUipngUxZoQ9ZEJ3uPHXlkRZUl-37tF0ivPFemlBqoFwAQQXnA"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhlV9_nt92AShakOxMOAcyeMq3CO7Jr66dSACDMvt5WSGo-QgBalyEv8-c518Apew0_Xbs2pzi_rRhNcEpAvoJkJ-zdgi4n381h1B3AzhiOecO5WOz7kKGGiddRDMD1JjvD7snccCP5UnUipngUxZoQ9ZEJ3uPHXlkRZUl-37tF0ivPFemlBqoFwAQQXnA=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7329906069723576450" /></a></p>I may inadvertently have created an energy construct many years ago to protect the tree forts and play structures the kids had built in the little forest down the road. One of the other kids has been acting like a bully and kept destroying their hard work each time they left the woods to return to their homes.
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<br>So I went to the woods and asked the divine energies there to protect the forts from harm and to discourage those who wanted to wreck their structures. It was a prayer fed by strong mama-bear emotion. I felt strongly about the desire to protect the play in the area.
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<br>A week or two later I heard stories from the kids. They told me that there was a "man in the woods" who they'd never seen but had heard that others had spotted from a distance. They told me the bully-kid was afraid to go into the woods because he kept seeing this man. He'd tried to get close enough to recognize the person but it seemed to vanish whenever he did. Other people had caught glimpses, too. But none of the kids who'd been working on the play forts had ever seen this figure.
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<br>It got me thinking. Did I create this from the prayer? Could the simple protective prayer have created something more tangible than I'd wanted? I wasn't sure.
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<br>If I did do this, I clearly didn't do the job well. I never wanted anyone, even the bully-kid, to be afraid of going into the woods.
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<br>So off I set again. Once in the forest I calmed myself and tried to sense the 'man' that they'd told me about. I didn't see it but I did get a feeling of presence. It was not harmful or malicious in any way. Just a presence. If this was a result of my efforts, I figured I'd best see if I could undo any damage I had done. If this was just my imagination, then setting out to right a wrong could do no further harm. I took my time and asked for assistance from the Angels of the woods. I apologized to the 'man'. I asked it if it would be willing to go with the Angels of the forest and let them take good care of its energy: deconstruct or re-purpose. I waited until I got a sense that the presence had left and then I went home.
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<br>The 'man in the woods' was never seen again.
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<br>Note to self: Be careful what you wish for. You may just get it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-11572928192213233662024-01-30T08:27:00.001-05:002024-01-30T08:27:38.010-05:00Humour Has a Place in Spiritual Growth<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiCF9Z0tZr-P35aXr9wYE79OeHuYH0mH4bL9Odb4c0yoUaoM1cZUAPx2ZcGSbf0XLcLfELFuNbT_2Xv1ZFQlbwtR-KaDnORu5ehM1WaXMFKwNNjMBKpS8iGBw4pe4BcgvLWCL64cxf-997BIVIVXp8mgIVeFs8KLzVPKOpcr0GJ3rSB7obb2prFBr5FgnA"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiCF9Z0tZr-P35aXr9wYE79OeHuYH0mH4bL9Odb4c0yoUaoM1cZUAPx2ZcGSbf0XLcLfELFuNbT_2Xv1ZFQlbwtR-KaDnORu5ehM1WaXMFKwNNjMBKpS8iGBw4pe4BcgvLWCL64cxf-997BIVIVXp8mgIVeFs8KLzVPKOpcr0GJ3rSB7obb2prFBr5FgnA=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7329882492507151794" /></a></p>Sitting in vipassana retreat. Silent. Very serious. I found it joyless at times. The teachers, while well versed in their field, took themselves pretty seriously too. I didn't see them smile much.
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<br>Anyhow, well into the first long sitting, a guy sitting in a yoga posture in the middle of the room started to do a loud, specialized, breathing technique. In that quiet, serious meditation hall, it was LOUD. I loved it. As I listened to him, my sense of humour kicked in. I was caught by the sound of it; it sounded a bit like a cat trying to throw up a hairball.
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<br>Spiritual growth has a certain dignity to it. Yet humour does too, when it's not pointing fingers, or hiding from the pain of reality. Real humour is about the absurdity of life. The longer we live the more we come to see that each time we try to settle on a truth or fact or take things too seriously, we find spinach in our teeth. Humour keeps us humble; it's what makes us human and it serves as a good counterpoint to self-importance or too much piety.
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<br>When I sat in that meditation hall after the hairball thing stopped, I could feel that the pressure in the hall had released, as though everyone had taken off a tight shirt. Even if it wasn't his intention, and even if it made the leaders frown, it was the perfect way to break all that difficult energy.
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<br>Taken at the same time, spiritual growth and humour invite a sense of tenderness in us, an understanding that we are all in this together.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-7227185742307231822024-01-30T07:26:00.001-05:002024-01-30T07:26:55.012-05:00No Regrets<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgxIb_2MsL-hro7xGK0BHW8zHnmNzy_KA9gRKeiwfbOobhNvxnVptvLkv13iYNXYA08qu5JCgCXy13yECSFHZ-Lq1qitth2_OPK8LwceKcPod8IaS_-9xsiky7y3xtaKUAqAyHSq6gEmZrqDQSrqJ9Iu4sOfrmuM2RDv9t_1b507zvLm_miLxI9PI93cas"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgxIb_2MsL-hro7xGK0BHW8zHnmNzy_KA9gRKeiwfbOobhNvxnVptvLkv13iYNXYA08qu5JCgCXy13yECSFHZ-Lq1qitth2_OPK8LwceKcPod8IaS_-9xsiky7y3xtaKUAqAyHSq6gEmZrqDQSrqJ9Iu4sOfrmuM2RDv9t_1b507zvLm_miLxI9PI93cas=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7329866846844166322" /></a></p>In 1999, about 2 weeks before my Mom died in another city, I had a strong urge to go visit her. As events played out, I didn't go. People asked me if I regretted that. No. Not really. Whatever energy drove the impulse to go wasn't met, but there was no sense of loss. Mom's memory was long gone, and if I had gone, the woman I'd visit was just a shadow of the woman she had been. I loved her. She loved me. Wherever she is, she knows that. So I have no regrets.
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<br>A friend told me recently that she regretted some of the choices she'd made earlier in her life. I didn't like to see her thinking like that. If she could have made other choices at the time, she would have. When we make a wiser choice than we had in the past, it's a refection of who we are now, not who we were then.
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<br>"If I had just done this differently." We assume things would have gone better. But would they? All we can be sure of is that they would have gone differently. Not necessarily better.
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<br>All we can hope for when choosing well is to see a better effect in our immediate vicinity, and hope that the benefits will ripple outwards in a positive way. But we are not capable of understanding all the ramifications.
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<br>All we can do is our best and hope for the best.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-66469179418844812912024-01-28T14:42:00.001-05:002024-01-28T14:42:07.128-05:00Too Quick to Blame<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjJiY2wKU_7OpxP4pcdNruY0jsQfM7aQbFrcPouE9OyjftBePRrmwSb_2DsH6gbU3nLLAwEmnWhD7Q4n4eK_oNBptWc6T4zRmCSFa7uPt15QwwjQd7XMpK6KsBYKj4sNPMdRbjkP3cEotsS8IOLq_STrFMo9UWmx84gL9BpDvAj44J0uRx04XOFwPdl_pM"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjJiY2wKU_7OpxP4pcdNruY0jsQfM7aQbFrcPouE9OyjftBePRrmwSb_2DsH6gbU3nLLAwEmnWhD7Q4n4eK_oNBptWc6T4zRmCSFa7uPt15QwwjQd7XMpK6KsBYKj4sNPMdRbjkP3cEotsS8IOLq_STrFMo9UWmx84gL9BpDvAj44J0uRx04XOFwPdl_pM=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7329236824792718306" /></a></p>Blame can come in so fast we don't even have time to think about what we just thought.
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<br>I saw a white tissue littering the ground beside the forest path. Annoyance swept in. Someone was being careless. My assessment and judgement came so fast and so quietly I almost missed it.
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<br>The tissue was not really a big deal. But that first reactive thought was illuminating.
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<br>As all this was running through my mind, I looked closer at the tissue. I could bring it home to dispose of it. But when I went to pick it up, I saw that it wasn't a tissue. It was my own handkerchief, one I had lost the day before.
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<br>Now I had no one to blame but myself.
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<br>How quick I'd been to jump to conclusions, when there was no blame to be found.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-30411154304700245022024-01-28T14:27:00.001-05:002024-01-28T14:27:23.851-05:00The Forest in the Dark<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEivfqytBbguSMHrLjTu2fPRvBGNynoC3sEd48yPxnIUDDjZvv4JvLl9g3QXlpqJQULvJIbIotUO5uzga39_Zd_u2HhR6l__6T7JdcYMpSYLgbxbNMBWzU1nvPLODEuGcY8VZnKLkp8tNT7wNc6qKRBtT8emJ_MYrvD4mayxlA7LI3AAaE0Z1_aL-5E2LZ8"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEivfqytBbguSMHrLjTu2fPRvBGNynoC3sEd48yPxnIUDDjZvv4JvLl9g3QXlpqJQULvJIbIotUO5uzga39_Zd_u2HhR6l__6T7JdcYMpSYLgbxbNMBWzU1nvPLODEuGcY8VZnKLkp8tNT7wNc6qKRBtT8emJ_MYrvD4mayxlA7LI3AAaE0Z1_aL-5E2LZ8=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7329233030788665794" /></a></div><div><br></div><div>Distances become shorter when we can see the destination.* But most of the time we can't see what's coming next. Life can change fast, and when it does, our ambitions and goals have to change too.</div><div><br></div><div>I walk through the forest in the dark** fairly often in the good weather. Even with a headlamp, it can be disorienting without the usual daylight landmarks. </div><div><br></div><div>So I don't try to figure out where I am. </div><div><br></div><div>Instead I enjoy the walk itself: the way the shadows fall on the ground - Is that a branch or a shadow?, the sounds - which are different at night, the scent of the trees - which seem more available without vision, the feeling of presence which infuses everything.</div><div><br></div><div>When I come up to a fork in the road, I stop and orient myself. Once I decide which direction I want to take next, I let the path lead me and return to my joy in being in the presence of the forest.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>**Although in the dark is best, the same thing is fun in heavy rain or fog because it limits the visual input. Wearing reading glasses would do the same thing.</div><div><br></div><div>* see this article: <a href="https://janetdane.blogspot.com/2023/12/are-we-there-yet.html">Are We There Yet?</a></div> <br>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-26744087309583308122024-01-27T14:49:00.001-05:002024-01-27T14:49:09.007-05:00Generosity<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiRxHMIaZsebLMF0cUD86R9-_8_7tMiH-jTg12WRzFy269RDEhlvLBM05vLsvDLM5TAjdZHXD_alkGmJVlJUcbMre-lV7zTwUJ4gWHrkSZN877fd3xfB617SX6VC9XRT9HaAXgiBywLHBsz9nRF8dNJ3yEesT5aEr5SBeUecPNFh_UdLrR0hY19JhKpbBQ"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiRxHMIaZsebLMF0cUD86R9-_8_7tMiH-jTg12WRzFy269RDEhlvLBM05vLsvDLM5TAjdZHXD_alkGmJVlJUcbMre-lV7zTwUJ4gWHrkSZN877fd3xfB617SX6VC9XRT9HaAXgiBywLHBsz9nRF8dNJ3yEesT5aEr5SBeUecPNFh_UdLrR0hY19JhKpbBQ=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7328867553657249186" /></a></p>We often have a bit of an agenda when it comes to giving. We may want people to appreciate our generosity. We may want them to appreciate the thing we have given. We may want them to pay it forward, or return the favour. We may want our generosity to make the world a better place.
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<br>Of course we do.
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<br>Yet generosity isn't about any of that stuff. It's about giving and then letting go - giving the thing/time/whatever and moving on with no further thoughts about it. The giving is done. We are done with it. We are not just giving it over, but giving it up.
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<br>In terms of energy, we want to stop it from occupying a place in our mind/body. When I was a kid I was taught that when we give to anyone, we need to leave our names out of it. We are not looking for praise. We are looking to fill a gap for someone in need; we see that we can spare it, so there it is - done. The act leaves a refreshing gap when we have no agenda. As Lao Tzu said: "If your willingness to give blessings is limited, so also is your ability to receive them."
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<br>Generosity comes from the heart. When we give from the heart, the world gives back.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-81793263139035961332024-01-26T06:51:00.001-05:002024-01-26T06:51:48.628-05:00Walking For Pleasure<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiX0teFr2vxU8_0nRvcEPiAzU3FRvaUXEqOH7ouxywTMjVv24QxTihuXE2T4i7w7ukMbvbjf_rjCFF4h9RMyNWI5lGjSZa-cEg2cH7rRBcdNY4_Jnwpi0lvM7N1axCbPJjg9bKefuVGr7ee0IQ1iD5jJBqJvYYdOuQbpAOIJo5D6fCrRggfvK5q7H1cNU8"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiX0teFr2vxU8_0nRvcEPiAzU3FRvaUXEqOH7ouxywTMjVv24QxTihuXE2T4i7w7ukMbvbjf_rjCFF4h9RMyNWI5lGjSZa-cEg2cH7rRBcdNY4_Jnwpi0lvM7N1axCbPJjg9bKefuVGr7ee0IQ1iD5jJBqJvYYdOuQbpAOIJo5D6fCrRggfvK5q7H1cNU8=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7328373459195562434" /></a></p>I'm walking the winter trail these days, and when there's snow it's harder going. I've found it becomes even more of a slog when I'm thinking how hard it is, or comparing my progress to other times. My neck and jaw muscles start to get tight as I push on, my dedication becoming stubbornness.
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<br>But I'm supposed to be walking for pleasure.
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<br>So my latest practice while we have snow to slog through, is to notice when the walk stops being fun. I relax the muscles that don't have to be tight, and start again, taking my cues from my body. When my body is enjoying the walk, then I am enjoying the walk.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-88734543758925366152023-12-22T16:20:00.001-05:002023-12-22T16:20:25.788-05:00Are We There Yet?<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiIHFUxyckfNrISSGEiUYNsbyT0xFs0gogcq4be-pHDWM_s_PhCOOkrcsTZMfochO2_9TvB5Ra57i3JmfWG2M0OrQ3AwBzJEnHkNE4l7fgUJkYzpBxc6bs2eUXVu5spfom1ltWnfFyTGTDFuSVo8QbCeIG6EIgcapXiN6M4AfhzHoWTD7k-xSgLIyYr2XE"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiIHFUxyckfNrISSGEiUYNsbyT0xFs0gogcq4be-pHDWM_s_PhCOOkrcsTZMfochO2_9TvB5Ra57i3JmfWG2M0OrQ3AwBzJEnHkNE4l7fgUJkYzpBxc6bs2eUXVu5spfom1ltWnfFyTGTDFuSVo8QbCeIG6EIgcapXiN6M4AfhzHoWTD7k-xSgLIyYr2XE=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7315532011144946274" /></a></p>When I drive to my friend's house, one road is long and it seems to take forever to get to the turn. The last time I drove that road, I looked way ahead and saw the grey house on the corner. Suddenly, even though the distance wasn't shorter, seeing the turn ahead, made it feel shorter. Why?
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<br>I think it's the same with maps. As a kid, some trips seemed endless, even though I knew to expect that. But once I learned to read a map and could plot the distance between here and the next town, suddenly an interminable drive went faster.
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<br>Have we somehow shortened the distance by bringing something of the distance up close?
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<br>Just asking.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-56031268128293241342023-12-22T15:26:00.001-05:002023-12-22T15:26:51.616-05:00Getting Lost in Meditation<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgRshGukiOmkgISduHfcmP20O9jvKgaawXlc50hsPrgTD_aXDimHY_RrF9yUvUTYPHO1jLEpiYLeVy-jHX4C5AQXXrl2e5TYvkxxkb3JDMMruRMByOY2Xml9kAp1uldqV1s1qEuOZeQPuWPvBNvQxlti-GLMSLuxULSXsbCfI_1QdXu7tUQfnu87DdTSoE"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgRshGukiOmkgISduHfcmP20O9jvKgaawXlc50hsPrgTD_aXDimHY_RrF9yUvUTYPHO1jLEpiYLeVy-jHX4C5AQXXrl2e5TYvkxxkb3JDMMruRMByOY2Xml9kAp1uldqV1s1qEuOZeQPuWPvBNvQxlti-GLMSLuxULSXsbCfI_1QdXu7tUQfnu87DdTSoE=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7315518203946742370" /></a><div><br> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-emoji: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">When I first started to meditate, I'd been so tied-into my thinking process, I was kind of scared that I'd lose myself off in some mental place and end up not being able to find my way back. Yet I had enough faith in the process to try anyhow. </p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-emoji: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-emoji: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">So I set a kitchen timer for 10 minutes, set my intentions, and settled in.</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-emoji: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-emoji: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">Each time I tried it, it became easier to trust the process, and before long I was rousing before the timer was due to go off, just like the alarm clock in the morning.</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-emoji: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-emoji: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">At first it can feel like we may be wandering into a dangerous place. But there's something in us, some inner awareness, that keeps track of things. And it can be trusted.</p><p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-emoji: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-emoji: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;"><br></p><div><br></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-68267002347918935212023-11-30T12:35:00.001-05:002023-11-30T12:35:44.589-05:00Counting Our Blessings<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg_uldK2cnHPJ14sIu7Bexm0IGyNSuPraVs6F48OBfa34AIjYMBSRFcJtzydJna4wy04A1_JLVtDi08EZkPdIv4GfAYTkXl8eJoxcIgr3xvPqFh2UNAKZ2vA3d3pcG5MQXfxcPV74pzPACSb2_VwXfoZRu-kaSeALzn8gYzJYmRshZPWnp2Zc-Hj7vD_68"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg_uldK2cnHPJ14sIu7Bexm0IGyNSuPraVs6F48OBfa34AIjYMBSRFcJtzydJna4wy04A1_JLVtDi08EZkPdIv4GfAYTkXl8eJoxcIgr3xvPqFh2UNAKZ2vA3d3pcG5MQXfxcPV74pzPACSb2_VwXfoZRu-kaSeALzn8gYzJYmRshZPWnp2Zc-Hj7vD_68=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7307310235075208066" /></a></p>Counting our blessings doesn't ask for things to be perfect. It just puts our attention on the things that we truly love about life. We could do that more often, especially if we are chronic worriers.
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<br>There's the 3 things to be grateful for before you fall asleep idea. Or the three things before your feet hit the floor in the morning. Or a gratitude journal. I appreciate how this model works. It keeps our busy minds focused on something positive for more than 2 seconds.
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<br>My approach is similar. While feeling how good that bowl of soup is after coming in from the cold, I can stop right there and let that feeling seep into my bones - let the good tonal qualities infuse my whole energy. More than 2 seconds. By lingering in these blessings, I see how it changes my body. The soup may warm my body but the pause to let goodness sink in makes me feel fresher, cleaner, lighter. And later on, after I go back into the fray, its stays with me.
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<br>This practice isn't about how many blessings there are to count. It's about letting their goodness improve our lives.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-71457747730618634482023-11-25T14:44:00.000-05:002023-11-25T14:45:04.908-05:00Unexpected Connections<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEix0TaMjipqfqmPdcwBd7biWS2N6cAR5MJ--qobBgNMVHWUAz81u89k6QLHP0Bc2oVoBk755qLzFUsoWFgbpwgtPEA3IAfFfkLBEnKMCkzVKBHchH0nqYTO9_Rd9I3b_VxKSv0nFeFzSWYrjqXioQNvlXGcVUiHcXzZj8NbBEFEII-seGVDHO8XwNbdWuE"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEix0TaMjipqfqmPdcwBd7biWS2N6cAR5MJ--qobBgNMVHWUAz81u89k6QLHP0Bc2oVoBk755qLzFUsoWFgbpwgtPEA3IAfFfkLBEnKMCkzVKBHchH0nqYTO9_Rd9I3b_VxKSv0nFeFzSWYrjqXioQNvlXGcVUiHcXzZj8NbBEFEII-seGVDHO8XwNbdWuE=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7305488139642284322" /></a></p>Like a message in a bottle, a slip of paper fell out of the old sci-fi paperback I picked up at a used book store. Until then, the book seemed impersonal. But now I know that someone named Peter read this book. He also bought a couple of small items from a hardware store in Toronto, 50 miles away on December 29, 1988 and charged them to his credit card. Hello Peter, wherever you are. I wonder if you enjoyed the book as much as I am enjoying it now?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-77119214458409212732023-11-18T12:28:00.001-05:002023-11-18T12:28:45.421-05:00Inevitable ?<p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg1BN_MDPI-1v2RM9zT_9TBVK25wCh-dN9xApnDZTzgMGPcCnZOJim46hcN6YTrbBtqsKM0KUnx8-QyAxAzdOlJVgoJSCJA61DcKdRsr0_5Kl3uTEFP26If7Uxy0ZuO5AqWjf6Fe60Xf7I3L8B2GQ-BdeUWHnYo-WOu74meyCzrUJ7qLMfgx2ke2VonIGA"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg1BN_MDPI-1v2RM9zT_9TBVK25wCh-dN9xApnDZTzgMGPcCnZOJim46hcN6YTrbBtqsKM0KUnx8-QyAxAzdOlJVgoJSCJA61DcKdRsr0_5Kl3uTEFP26If7Uxy0ZuO5AqWjf6Fe60Xf7I3L8B2GQ-BdeUWHnYo-WOu74meyCzrUJ7qLMfgx2ke2VonIGA=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7302855414229719666" /></a></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">While sorting through his pills for the next week, I got a flashing image of the bottle tipping over. So I moved the bottle back. I knocked it over anyhow. The foretelling didn't prevent it from happening. It didn't make it any easier to clean up. But it did soften the blow. It's like life already told me what was going to happen. I scooped the few I could save and watched the rest waterfall off the back of the dresser, wondering how much dust there was underneath. By that time, it felt inevitable.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-37786628144053845522023-10-27T13:36:00.001-04:002023-10-27T13:36:44.107-04:00Right Speech<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhk8wPXSZabSse1kQdftfBLHQYdp200VprFb7D0K1u_fBGjFCzN50WVkk4tVQiKxn0jK6vswhEvfZlsdsS8QgqGo76JRWH7m65ZMSxr35vIqLEoriE5g2YSxLnKbeG6-Z4veqeCCCyenoZTHrbESL4IL9FZeFTwoQR_2DJloUm434fGeVFskLBrcMCTqn4"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhk8wPXSZabSse1kQdftfBLHQYdp200VprFb7D0K1u_fBGjFCzN50WVkk4tVQiKxn0jK6vswhEvfZlsdsS8QgqGo76JRWH7m65ZMSxr35vIqLEoriE5g2YSxLnKbeG6-Z4veqeCCCyenoZTHrbESL4IL9FZeFTwoQR_2DJloUm434fGeVFskLBrcMCTqn4=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7294693594220662242" /></a></div><div><br></div><div>In Buddhism, there is a thing called 'Right Speech.' It's not 'right' as in correct, but 'right' as in skilful. And it's not a list of rules but a suggested course of action. There are masses of teachings about this, but they all pretty much boil down to this:</div><div>Before we speak, ask ourselves:</div><div><ul class="MailOutline"><li>Is it kind?</li><li>Is it necessary?</li><li>Is it true?</li><li>Will it improve on the silence?</li></ul></div><div><br></div><div>This can be a good practice.</div> Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-15844608971048001242023-10-27T12:40:00.001-04:002023-10-27T12:40:18.347-04:00Chartreuse<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjhNt4J0-CnkeuJLWjOzBlWhILI6CAh45zrgusSAgFZ-VaWZTBk4CKFDTjmtX26UY57x5bPhMCsArmNZYrN6cCuaZcG7jYV0JIqN_lyEIHUqMDq9Tj6372s7hWyHUQN2Q-DYCSg_TjAfiDloqaiyVFwTHAsAYfupiRwYeQgXr9f4nJsxZpol6f3bgHVwQw"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjhNt4J0-CnkeuJLWjOzBlWhILI6CAh45zrgusSAgFZ-VaWZTBk4CKFDTjmtX26UY57x5bPhMCsArmNZYrN6cCuaZcG7jYV0JIqN_lyEIHUqMDq9Tj6372s7hWyHUQN2Q-DYCSg_TjAfiDloqaiyVFwTHAsAYfupiRwYeQgXr9f4nJsxZpol6f3bgHVwQw=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7294679052010889842" /></a><div><br></div><div><p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">Chartreuse</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">The colour chartreuse repulses me. I don't know why. Maybe something in my childhood. I don't like strawberry ice cream either. It tastes fake. Nor do I like home decor in gold/beige/orange/brown, even when fashionable, as they were in 1976 when friends gifted me with a set of gold patterned unbreakable dishes.</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">Taught that it's impolite or worse to decline a gift, I sucked it up and moved on, while a little part of me mourned a bit.</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">It's not that I didn't appreciate these gifts. I did, with all my heart:</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;"><ul class="MailOutline"><li>The ice cream my uncle treated me to during an errand when I was 7. Strawberry was his favourite. For his sake I pretended to like it. I loved him.</li><li>Or the orchid an enthusiast gave me because she loved them so much. Of course she did.</li><li>Or the hand-knitted kitchen cloth Sue made for each of us at the beginning of the pandemic. This was so kind. They were just like the ones Gma used to use in her kitchen. </li></ul></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">Mine was chartreuse. </p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">And there we were again. </p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">It wasn't just chartreuse, it was Meant To Be. The package with my name on it got mislaid when Sue was giving them out, so another in the group cheerfully passed hers along to me. My inner needy child mourned, my adult self felt like I was 7 again, while another part of me looked on with a smile and marvelled at how absurd it all was. </p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">Preferences are fine, but when they spoil a gift they're not fine. I was going to have to deal with this for once and for all.</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">Of course I had good reason to feel the way I did. I understood the origins. I have history. What I wanted to explore though, was that fine line between want and need. </p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">It's different for each of us, and different at different times in our lives. Sometimes, when people are not heard, wants can turn into needs. At the same time, most of us can accept something we don't like when what we want is taken into account.</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">When I got home, I placed the cloth at the top of the pile in the drawer so I'd use it. The first couple of times it cycled up to the top, I still felt a mild revulsion. But I'd decided to take that moment to linger in the energy of the gift - the pleasure, the kindness, the sharing - and let those tonal qualities take hold in my body. Just that little second changes everything.</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">I took it a bit farther too. You know how when you buy undies in a 4 pack of assorted colours, they always include one or two that are really awful? I let those mud-green ones cycle up to the top too. It's a bit of a shock when I see myself in the mirror, but I smile each time.</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">Oh, and the dishes? After 20 years, I gave them away and replaced them with a set I liked more.</p></div><div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-84566954498778247472023-09-25T14:43:00.001-04:002023-09-25T14:43:15.307-04:00Sharing<p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi0p5V4-Aua6BsgsQM_jaFX5ZtOSiybb9V3VC_X_lAO16sVyJZGjWQoyefvW6MTD4E3XfafZj3EcmvHE7EKG6ytaybXsBvttJiXvfKe_XS6JwBEu8Ntbkw39t9uDCUMJ-2RfDlEVjpsVo15EPz5JLGPQxDV86fdfNOYdHECFgn2cQuRD7itk6YTEvv_vSI"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi0p5V4-Aua6BsgsQM_jaFX5ZtOSiybb9V3VC_X_lAO16sVyJZGjWQoyefvW6MTD4E3XfafZj3EcmvHE7EKG6ytaybXsBvttJiXvfKe_XS6JwBEu8Ntbkw39t9uDCUMJ-2RfDlEVjpsVo15EPz5JLGPQxDV86fdfNOYdHECFgn2cQuRD7itk6YTEvv_vSI=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7282836010506051858" /></a></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">When I was about 14, my twin sister (she's the good twin) had a sudden opportunity to go on a volunteer-holiday-something over some weeks that summer in New Jersey or something. </p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">I was a bit jealous because I wasn't getting away during the summer. I couldn't save money as a kid no matter how hard I tried. I got my allowance and spent it on a chocolate bar. Every week. I babysat and earned a bit more. Spent it. I was that kid. My twin had something in her that could resist short term pain for long term gain. That made me a bit jealous too. </p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">Anyhow she had already signed up for a school trip the following Autumn to go to Montreal for Expo 67. This was a big thing. I hadn't signed up for Expo. I couldn't save. </p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">The first thing she did when she got the New Jersey news was give me her Montreal trip. No strings. Just happy to be able to do it. Really.</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">That taught me more about sharing than well, anything. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-84046003053556469842023-07-24T14:00:00.001-04:002023-07-24T14:00:39.747-04:00Choices<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjs02qGCbgKxPQDUOIM-3o-ERP3o1reFoiQLCYV_2k8rvotumJWfoea65u6jE1ERzihxbp-8S83xbD_KFDo260HAB5IkKELtXSDM0agD5ikblZLlUVBkoeZaN94t4NWWd3cB8YtmyKJf1-AVXRqVgPnZo_k_ZM1IeVP8VAz50KMLxWVckczsCOTbrxSiNI"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjs02qGCbgKxPQDUOIM-3o-ERP3o1reFoiQLCYV_2k8rvotumJWfoea65u6jE1ERzihxbp-8S83xbD_KFDo260HAB5IkKELtXSDM0agD5ikblZLlUVBkoeZaN94t4NWWd3cB8YtmyKJf1-AVXRqVgPnZo_k_ZM1IeVP8VAz50KMLxWVckczsCOTbrxSiNI=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7259446670922902658" /></a></p>Just as I was about to leave to run some errands, the hood latch on my car failed. I was faced with a choice. I could go anyhow, knowing that it would probably be perfectly safe - there was a safety latch and I would drive carefully. Or I could see it as a sign that it wasn't the best time to go.
<br>
<br>Either choice was likely valid, but I chose to stay at home. Experience has taught me that when something gets in the way of my plans, then maybe I need to revise my plans.
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<br>In the past I might have pushed through to meet an obligation or a promise. Or if I was afraid of missing out on something. Or if it would cost me something I wasn't sure I could afford. These all carry emotional loads which add an extra layer of stress. It's stressful to go against the flow, and more stressful when there's something emotionally at stake.
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<br>The hood latch didn't have an emotional charge so it was a great time to practice my intuition. What do these choices feet like in my body? Stay? Everything feels smooth. Go? The gut feels a bit tighter. When I pay attention to these signs, I can act on them more easily when the stakes are higher.
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<br>I may never know why the hood latch broke when it did. But I do know that by choosing to stay at home, my action aligned with the flow of life. If those errands were meant to be run at all, there would be another day for them. A better day.
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<br>Lao Tzu said, "The world is ruled by letting things take their course."
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<br>By letting life show us where to go next, we can make smoother choices. By leaving the fear out of the equation we can make wiser choices. By allowing ourselves to move with the flow of life itself, we may find we don't even need to choose at all. Instead, the choices seem to make themselves.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-37442394390676016812023-07-24T09:15:00.001-04:002023-07-24T09:15:56.555-04:00The Peace of Meditation<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjemC0l0Tf4cCzpoPsLhv58bAgCmZNUnXhw8GSFMZGw6gEEHpYoO5b1NQ131lwUg-4GeWtZ7YstNssMBYqrj-i1qSDHTHQYcjabhW1fMiYu75v6HBuPWeif-f3Xgq7fkvuDvPCJUtAChodzWyt2IBosFniJvbRi1BJVAnRdEBLkfmZO0hmEHSl2vowrdj8"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjemC0l0Tf4cCzpoPsLhv58bAgCmZNUnXhw8GSFMZGw6gEEHpYoO5b1NQ131lwUg-4GeWtZ7YstNssMBYqrj-i1qSDHTHQYcjabhW1fMiYu75v6HBuPWeif-f3Xgq7fkvuDvPCJUtAChodzWyt2IBosFniJvbRi1BJVAnRdEBLkfmZO0hmEHSl2vowrdj8=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7259373293220727666" /></a></p>Many meditations are guided journeys for giving us a framework for a mental activity. This is great. It can lead our emotions and body to follow.
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<br>Others are designed to be more free flowing so that we can be aware of the habitual thought patterns that dominate our thinking lives. This deepens awareness of what we are - and what we are not, and opens us to more paradoxical thinking. This is great, too.
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<br>Most of us start to meditate because we just want to feel better. We start with guided journeys because they can help us relax, many for the first time in ages. But after a while, many of us yearn for something more - or we have seen things or experienced things in that relaxed state that are interesting or new or have opened us up spiritually. That's when we make the switch to the sitting, silent, watching-the-breath type of meditation, although most of us will bounce back and forth forever.
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<br>If we are lucky, at some point, the desire to sit so that we feel better falls away and we start to sit for the sake of sitting. Not because it feels good or feels bad, although being joyful helps to keep us sitting. But because we feel curiously at rest or peace when we do.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413615559407069736.post-15083710864518327602023-07-22T16:27:00.001-04:002023-07-22T16:27:57.984-04:00It's Earwig Season<p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhJMXcATw7s_mlMy28oFaJRMiWwipoDLuDsNWGCc0rkc-NHAlG1OSuBjUH02uNCfibTTFX9xBNRgIBb7qCWi9526xiiAbNBZcNPx8LydI_EvWJPKXP6anL74qJRS3POmcHmDKhymnCb9uR4CHSfYj96cf-HjC4gdITi2NmZdubZkspd5LqtuopFMtEvbH4"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhJMXcATw7s_mlMy28oFaJRMiWwipoDLuDsNWGCc0rkc-NHAlG1OSuBjUH02uNCfibTTFX9xBNRgIBb7qCWi9526xiiAbNBZcNPx8LydI_EvWJPKXP6anL74qJRS3POmcHmDKhymnCb9uR4CHSfYj96cf-HjC4gdITi2NmZdubZkspd5LqtuopFMtEvbH4=s320" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_7258742455374393570" /></a></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">I saw my first earwig in 1976 when we moved to Dufferin County. It creeped me out. I just saw one in the kitchen. They still creep me out, but not as violently. I can pick them up now with a piece of toilet paper, and escort them outside. Most of the time.</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">My aversion escalated in 1977 when while rolling up sod to prepare for a driveway, the overturned earth squirmed with hundreds of them. It escalated again in 1978 when we put the basement in. They were getting in. Too many of them. </p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">I used to keep a shoe by my bed to swat them when they showed up. That's when I discovered they eat anything, even their own kind. You can imagine how deeply I wanted them to go away. How desperately. </p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">They seemed to come in, unfortunately, in the basement corner where I'd moved my home office. I looked for openings and found none. I sprayed with that awful insulating foam. That didn't slow them down a bit. I sprayed bug spray - the stuff that likely isn't legal any more. That slowed them down a bit but didn't stop them. I could hear them sometimes landing on the concrete floor under the window as I worked at the computer. I looked inside and outside to see if I could see any openings I'd overlooked. It all looked fine.</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">So this went on for SEVENTEEN years.</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">I'm a spiritual person and I knew it was a big lesson. I knew I'd have to find a way to make peace with them, that my aversion was just making things worse.</p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">Over time, I gradually did. I never really warmed up to them - come on, the pincers - but over time my energy didn't rise in aversion any more. </p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">One day, I caught a glimpse of one walking across the carpet in the office beside my foot. I didn't quite feel affection for it, but maybe a hint of friendliness. I got a kleenex and took it outside. While out there, I had an urge to look yet again at the window in that basement corner. We had bought two identical windows for that end of the house when we put in the basement. I took my time and compared them board for board. And I found a gap in one of them. </p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal; min-height: 15px;"><br></p> <p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;">I wouldn't say I ran to find some putty to fill the gap, but I might have. After I filled that gap, the main earwig problem went away. We still get them inside now and then in the years when there are lots of them. This summer there are lots of them. My spiritual lesson in July on years like this is to make peace with them again. As much as I can. They still creep me out. </p><p style="margin: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size-adjust: none; font-kerning: auto; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-feature-settings: normal; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-variation-settings: normal;"><br></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com