Some years ago, a new neighbour had a 'getting-to-know-you' thing planned. When she invited me, I told her I'd be delighted to come if I was feeling up to it. Rather than saying something like, "I hope you come," she said "You need to push yourself to do things outside your comfort zone." She caught me on a cranky day; I had no tolerance for even mild bullying. Rather than letting this slide, I asked her "What makes you think you are qualified to tell me what I am up to and what I am not?" Her mouth closed with a snap. She blinked a few times. And said no more. I realize she had pretty good intentions. In her mind it was a form of encouragement. She's a pretty nice person overall. But, no. Not today.
People do stuff for good reasons. Stuff we don't like. Stuff we don't think they should do. Stuff that we know will likely lead to a bad end. Yet it's theirs to do. When we don't recognize the intelligence that's already there, our intervention changes from helpful advice to bullying.
People do stuff for good reasons.
