In my readings for myself, I see the ‘Control’ card often when life is stressful or things are changing fast and I feel like I have nothing to hold onto.
The best thing to do at these times, is of course, to surrender and let a greater force direct traffic for a while. Yet when I am stressed, that’s the last thing I want to do. My impulse is to tighten my grip. I mean, things could go wrong if I'm not right there to manage them, couldn't they? Others may not understand as thoroughly as I do just what is at stake if things go wrong.
Well they probably don't understand, but letting go of control is the right thing to do anyway. Even if it means things get messy or go wrong.
It's a blessing to see the 'control' card come up. It gives me pause. What am I hanging onto that needs to be seen? Sometimes it's something as small as the arrangements for a visit or the formatting of this blog post. Sometimes it's big, like trying to manage a loved one's pain. I care about them. Of course I'm going to lean and do what I can. And if the results come up well, I can feel good about it all.
But if it's not coming together, I need perspective. Joanna Macy said, “Learn to trust. You are only a small part of a much larger process, like a nerve cell in a neural net.”
A single nerve cell in a neural net.
When I feel the tension seeping in, this image helps me find perspective. My little bit is important, but there are powers greater than me who have a say too. When I can pause, the energy loosens right up. It lets in fresh air.
I don't have to do it all, even if I secretly hope that I, of my own effort, can change the course of the universe.
