When I was younger, 'measuring up' was important. We had standards to live by, as a community, as a culture, as a family. Achievement was important because the feedback I got from the world around me told me it was.
When I surrounded myself with more relaxed people, I got different feedback.
I just came off a yoga retreat where we were all encouraged to meet ourselves where we were: tired, energetic, cranky, mellow, flexible, tight, sad, joyful, whatever. The only standard set was - none. We had to show up. That was enough.
It sets a good tone for the days and weeks to come, one with no inner critic, with no need to distinguish between good and bad (which our teacher suggests is exhausting, btw,) with no ideas of 'should' and 'should not,' and with no lofty ambitions except the joy of the moment. This frees trapped energy so I can respond more gracefully to life as it comes.
This is the kind of feedback I prefer. It makes me feel nourished and supported.
First published in November 2016 in my free monthly email newsletter, Starry Night. Sign up here.