Tuesday, January 30, 2024

No Regrets

In 1999, about 2 weeks before my Mom died in another city, I had a strong urge to go visit her. As events played out, I didn't go. People asked me if I regretted that. No. Not really. Whatever energy drove the impulse to go wasn't met, but there was no sense of loss. Mom's memory was long gone, and if I had gone, the woman I'd visit was just a shadow of the woman she had been. I loved her. She loved me. Wherever she is, she knows that. So I have no regrets.

A friend told me recently that she regretted some of the choices she'd made earlier in her life. I didn't like to see her thinking like that. If she could have made other choices at the time, she would have. When we make a wiser choice than we had in the past, it's a refection of who we are now, not who we were then.

"If I had just done this differently." We assume things would have gone better. But would they? All we can be sure of is that they would have gone differently. Not necessarily better.

All we can hope for when choosing well is to see a better effect in our immediate vicinity, and hope that the benefits will ripple outwards in a positive way. But we are not capable of understanding all the ramifications.

All we can do is our best and hope for the best.