I'm not talking about that here. I'm talking about disrespect.
When I was a kid, one of my mother's friends called me "Dearie." I hated it. It felt demeaning. And dishonest; I wasn't dear to her, I was just her friend's kid. One of my Dad's friends called me "Girlie." Oh I hated that even more. He viewed me not as a person but as an object. I got the same kind of thing when I was unwell. Most of the staff were the best, but then there were the ones who raised their voices, spoke in simple words, and called me "Sweetheart" or "Dear." I was already unwell, and that made me feel worse.
Ok so it may be a pet peeve of mine.
But that kind of language elevates one person and diminishes the other. As a kid I felt it acutely. As an adult I cut them more slack, but it all still made me feel somehow lower.
In this article "Nuns model skillful ways to speak to ill seniors" the caregivers avoid Elderspeak - a loud, slow, simple, patronizing and common form of baby talk for seniors. "They value a person in a sort of inherent way," so they don't talk down to them. Humour, patience, and kindness are better ways to communicate as equals. And the patients respond accordingly.
Respect and dignity need a level playing field.
