Black and White World

When we were kids, our TV was black and white. Greyscale. We could often sense the colours on the screen by the tone and context. We never felt as though anything was missing. But then colour TV came along. The perceptual impact was huge.

Every now and then in meditation or when quiet, I get a glimpse of colours more brilliant than anything I have ever seen in this world. It's as though we are living in a faded world, not black and white, but not fully perceived either.

If we never glimpse the colours that exist outside our reality, how can we know they exist?

An Organized Arrangement of Energies

While walking across the lawn, I felt my feet landing solidly on the earth. We seemed separate. But we are made of less solid stuff.

We are an organized arrangement of energies that mingle and interact. Seeing the ground like that, and my feet like that make it all feel more like an ongoing story than a single solid event or thing.

The earth supports me, grows me (literally,) nurtures me, even buoys me up. So rather than thump thump thump across the earth, I can relax and know I am a part of something really big and wonderful.

How Things are Phrased

Language is meaningful to me. How things are phrased, subtle nuance can have so much bearing on my emotional patterns as well as thinking patterns, it’s always nice when I suddenly see a new way of thinking about something, a new way of phrasing it, so that the results are kinder to everyone, yet still true.

“He may not care about this,” (or my feelings) may be accurate, but the way it is phrased seems to say more about the caring or not-caring part. It affects my feelings. Instead I can choose “He doesn’t think that way.” This states the facts in such a way that it doesn’t have to lead to emotional conflict or hurt feelings.

A simple change of phrase can change the whole mental, and then emotional landscape.

When an observation becomes personal, it slips into judgement.

Here's another: "I don't eat sugar" is different than "I can't eat sugar." The former implies that I'm on board with the choice. That latter suggests its's something imposed on me from outside against my will. When I consider a choice freely made, I don't fight it as much.

First published October 2017 in my free monthly email newsletter, Starry Night. Sign up here.

Doing Laps

If I say, "I have only 5 more laps to go," then I am thinking too much about the ease of it being finished.
If I say, "I can't do this many laps," then I am thinking too much about my shortcomings (as compared to some idealized expectation).
If I say, "I hate this," then it will never get easier.
If I say, "I love this," but really hate it, then it will never get easier.
If I say, "How does this feel?" and pay attention to what is actually going on in my physical body, then I can assess constantly and make any changes needed.

Doing laps isn't about buying in to what's going on in my head or emotions, it's about how it is today, or on this specific lap, and taking joy from the doing -- like being a kid and exploring with a sense of curiosity and joy.

First published May 2017 in my free monthly email newsletter, Starry Night. Sign up here.

When a Gift is Given

A friend gave her mother a thoughtful gift for her 80th birthday celebration. She called many of the people her mother knew and asked them what they liked or admired about her mother. Then she complied the answers into a booklet.

When I was asked to contribute, I said that I admired her "kindness" and her "curiosity about life." As I spoke, it occurred to me that what I told her may have said as much about me as her mother. Kindness and curiosity are qualities that are important to me at this time.

I wondered if this was the same for the others who contributed.

Then I wondered if my friend's choice of gift was the same too? She's been hard on herself lately. Perhaps her choice of gift reflects how much she values being loved and respected.

When a gift is given, the energy doesn't just go one way. It's shared.

The Flower of the Life Force

A flower that is blooming doesn't look down on the buds on the next plant. The buds don't look up at the full bloom and push themselves to become that. They grow according to their nature and circumstances - pushing, yes, effort, yes, but not to achieve anything, just to be what their life demands of them. There is no better or worse. Just beauty in expression.

Blanche Hartman used Dogen's saying "Realization is effort without desire," as a koan for years. As she watched the progress of daffodils blooming, she realized, "Here was effort without desire right in front of me all the time! Just letting the flower of the life force bloom right here, right now, wholeheartedly and with nothing held back -- giving ourselves completely to whatever arises right in front of us moment after moment."

The flower of the life force. I like that.

Pink Culture

Well, the whole thing isn't pink, just the reds on the TV. While visiting my sister some time ago, I was surprised to see how pink the reds were on her TV. The reds were all shocking pink and blue jeans were green jeans. Yet they didn't seem to notice. I mentioned that the colours seemed off. But they seemed quite happy with it, so I let it go and watched TV with them. The longer I watched, the more I accepted it. It didn't feel right, but I got used to it. I suppose that if I stayed long enough I'd stop wondering about it and start to think that IKEA changed their logo to yellow and green.

It makes me wonder though. How much of the world I consider normal is my adaptation to something?

Should-less Days

In an interview with New York Public Radio, actress Ellen Burstyn was asked how she takes care of herself after many busy days. She said, "I’m very lazy. I have what I call should-less days. Today is a day where there’s nothing I should do. So I only do what I want to do. And if it’s nap in the afternoon or watch TV, and eat ice cream, I get to do it. I had that kind of day yesterday."

I love this. "Should" is a word we use too much. It always signals an inner conflict between the expectations around us (even our own) and what life wants us to do. Maybe by giving ourselves more should-less days, we can learn to trust that flow of life.

First published December 2016 in my free monthly email newsletter, Starry Night. Sign up here.

Seasons Changing

I can feel it in the air.
The crows and jays are calling each other.
A hawk flew right up the driveway and by the house.
I've seen deer moving in the bush next door.

Each year as they move into the new season,
I feel the need in me to do the same.

Conditioning

When I walk, my body starts to walk itself after I have gone a certain distance. For the first ten minutes or so, I can feel the effort in the movement, but then, it just opens up and the effort is gone. My body seems to think, “Oh, THIS is what you want to do !” and does it for me. The body itself seems to develop a memory.

The trick is to make all this work for us rather than against us.

Think not lightly of good, saying,
'It will not come to me.'
Drop by drop is the water pot filled.
Likewise, the wise man,
gathering it little by little,
fills himself with good.
 — Dhammapada 122 –

First published August 2008 in my free monthly email newsletter, Starry Night. Sign up here.

The Birds Notice

We take it for granted how much we influence the world around us and how much it influences us. We barely notice how when we walk near a bird's nest, the birds will either quiet right down or call an alarm. While under the tree, if I suddenly feel a rush of anger, without perceptively moving my body, the birds will pause.

First published December 2014 in my free monthly email newsletter, Starry Night. Sign up here.

Boot Camp for Flowers

It's like all the flowers in a garden were lined up in a row and told they had to be better flowers. "You! Yeah you, the one with the crushed petals. I know you grew up next to a rock, but you'd better stand up straighter or you'll never get anywhere as a daisy." "And you! Yeah, you. How come you're so short? I know you didn't get the same nutrients as the others but how about a bit more effort now! You're not trying hard enough to be taller." "What about you? Your soil and weather were perfect to make you the most beautiful flower ever. How come you look average?"

First published November 2014 in my free monthly email newsletter, Starry Night. Sign up here.

Pig Sayings I Have Found Helpful

"Never teach a pig to sing. It annoys the pig and wastes your time."

"Not my pig. Not my farm."

"Never wrestle with a pig in the mud. You'll both get dirty but the pig likes it."


First published March 2015 in my free monthly email newsletter, Starry Night. Sign up here.

Ego Stuff

Someone who works hard to shed ego - attachment to ideas of who he is - may get to a point where he thinks he has finally released ego. As soon as he thinks, "I am someone who has shed ego," it's a sign that his ego is still strong and well.

This makes me smile.

First published April 2015 in my free monthly email newsletter, Starry Night. Sign up here.

Coming Brand New Into The Day

Ellis Peters wrote, “some come brand-new into a new day and have to rediscover their griefs… Some nurse their griefs into the night.” I guess that’s why we are encouraged as kids to say a prayer at bedtime. It sweetens our dreams, releases our worries and lets us start fresh the next day.

Instinct

I wonder how much we have deviated from the inner wisdom we all possess. We're so busy analysing the world that we forget we are living here. When birds flock to warmer climates in the Autumn, they do this out of instinct. Instinct, in the sense of being more in tune with their connection with the world. They feel the inner need to go and they don't reason it out or analyse their choices. They simply go.

I often feel the inner urge to organize and fluff my nest at this time of year. I can fight it if I want, but if I do I may lose something important along the way. If I make a pattern of fighting it, due to a busy schedule or rational cause-and-effect thinking, my whole being is in conflict.

I may think I am being rational. But even my rational mind suspects that the birds have it right.

First published October 2015 in my free monthly email newsletter, Starry Night. Sign up here.

Body Wisdom

If I assume that our bodies are always leaning towards finding balance, then even when our minds overwork with worry or analysis or remembering old sorrows, perhaps this is the body's way of giving us/it a chance to process them, accept them, cry them out, perhaps and then move ahead into a more balanced state.

To take this idea even further, I have found that my body retains extra fluid if I eat too much comfort food. Then tears are closer to the surface making it a good time for me to process the difficult emotions that I'd been using comfort food to soften. Again it's like my body is trying pretty hard for me to do what I need to do to recover some balance.

First published November 2015 in my free monthly email newsletter, Starry Night. Sign up here.

Poof !

If for each of the things we perceive there is a counter-thing: strength-weakness, light-dark, faith-doubt, then for every being is there a counter-being - that once they merge, neither needs to continue to exist? Poof, I'm gone!

First published January 2016 in my free monthly email newsletter, Starry Night. Sign up here.

Making Something of It

The essence energy that I perceive
    leads to my concept of it
    which leads to language
    which leads to analysis and opinion.

It all starts out pretty innocently, and then being human, we make something of it.

First published February 2016 in my free monthly email newsletter, Starry Night. Sign up here.

Meditation Without Striving

In the book "Taking the Leap, Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears" by Pema Chödrön, there is a bit about taking a relaxed attitude towards meditation. The example she used was

"The image often used is of an old person, sitting in the sun, watching children at play, with an attitude of nothing left to do."

I could immediately relate to this, and I know I can remember it.

First published March 2016 in my free monthly email newsletter, Starry Night. Sign up here.